A Letter to Santa, Kaiba Style
by Tilena
Summary: Just a short story in keeping with the holiday season. Mokuba gets Seto to do something... Merry Christmas!


This is just a joke. Feel free to flame/compliment/ignore me. Much to my dismay, i don't own Seto Kaiba.

**A Letter to Santa, Kaiba Style**

Seto Kaiba was glaring at a stack of paper. Not just any piece of paper, however. It was a piece of paper shoved in front of him by his little brother. And this meant that Seto not only had to glare at it, but to write on it what Mokuba wanted.

A letter to Santa, to be exact.

He shuddered. Santa? Imagine! Kaiba could buy Santa three times over and still have enough money to do whatever he wanted. Silly boy.

Unfortunately, there was no way out of it. Mokuba had tried yelling first, which did nothing but firm Seto's resolve, but then the tears had started, and, well, that was that. So he was glaring right now. 

Might as well get it over with.

"Dear Santa,"

No. This wasn't right at all. Dear Santa? What was he, five? He crumbled that piece up and tossed it in the garbage can.

__

"To Santa:"

Nope... that didn't seem right either. He scratched that piece of paper and tried over again.

__

"For the fat man who dresses in a red suit so that little kids will sit on your lap... sicko...:"

Ah, yes, this was acceptable.

"_My brother wants me to write you. So I did."_

__No, that was way off track. No need to sound like a whiny, weak Yugi-type. He crumpled that paper, rewrote his header, and started again.

"_I'm writing this to you. You don't need to know why. I'll tell you if you do, weirdo. Just don't ask questions that your puny pervert brain cannot possibly understand._

"I suppose I should tell you what I want. Well. I want all the power in the world. However, since I have most of it, I'm sure that you do not hold the rest as it is all tied up in stocks, political crap, and the like. Don't know if you'll understand this, but at least understand that it's not what I'm asking for.

"I don't want another Blue Eyes White Dragon. I had all four, but then I ripped one up. So I really don't need another one. I'm not sure why I ripped that one up, but that's ok. No one else has it so I don't care.

__He paused, drumming his fingers. What was he supposed to ask for? A piece of something, Mokuba had said. He frowned suspiciously. A piece of _what_?His little brother had been eyeing Yugi lately. Well, he'd better not darn well have a crush on that midget! And he had definitely better not be telling his brother to ask Santa for a piece of Yugi!

... No, wait, that wasn't it. A piece of the world? Yes, there had been something about the world in there. Whaddya know, he thought. The kid does have it in him! He wants the rule the world!

Seto suddenly remembered what Mokuba had said. He sneered. No, he wanted world peace. Damn kid. Always had to do something nice.

_"According to my brother, who is more adept at writing these letters than I am..."_

__He looked at that sentence. Someone better than him at something? Nuh-uh. He crossed it out carefully. It now continued like this:

_"has more practice at writing these than I do, I am supposed to ask for world peace. Unfortunately, I realize that humans are pathetic and would never accept world peace, even if you offered it to them on a silver platter. Stupid animals._

"So instead, I am writing you to ask for the one thing that I would really like to have."

__Seto licked his lips nervously and glanced around. He made sure that no one was there, including nosy, intrusive spirits or demanding little brothers.

"_I really want a Millennium Item. Just a small one, please? I don't understand. How can that runt Yugi and that poofter Bakura get items? Even Pegasus, may his pink suit forever burn in hell, had one. Why not me? Please?"_

__He read over his last paragraph, then crossed out all the words 'please.'

_"I expect to be the proud owner of an item that holds great power and maybe a little evil come Christmas. If not, be warned that I can hack into your computer and dance upon its motherboard. And, on a side note, I will use my vast amount of money to expose your underground kiddie porno ring, you sicko, so you'd better pay up!_

My regards to Mrs. Claus (too bad she doesn't know what kind of person you are!),

Seto Kaiba


End file.
